I'm curious to know how those with children and spouses that also work full time fared during residency. Has anyone noticed common patterns among neurosurgeon-parents that are sometimes ignored? I am curious how those who managed to foster a close relationship with their children pulled it off.
I wouldn't be surprised if resident-parents missed their children's first steps, first words, first day at school etcetc. Maybe I'm wrong?
Had my first during senior residency and left my family behind for fellowship so I basically didn't see the family at all. I missed pretty much every major milestone, but made it a point to shower my kid with attention whenever I was home. Wife took most of the burden and I owe her a ton. We also had a nanny (paying on the lower end of the salary scale) and with 2 salaries it was tough but doable. We are not independently wealthy, but you can make it work.
There is nothing unique about neurosurgical residency that makes it harder to raise children. Working professionals have been doing it since the beginning of time with grandparents, nannies, nanny shares, daycares, etc. You are going to miss major life events. If that is important to you, either drop out now and pursue dermatology, or do what everyone else in the field with kids does and find a way to make it work.
