I’m 6 months out from graduating from an extremely malignant program. I have a great fellowship lined up, and soon will never have to think of these people again. I honestly despise 3/4ths of my attendings (bad people doing unindicated surgeries and constantly lying).
I really, really, really want to let them know how I feel about them at graduation. My initial thought was not to go, but my wife insists I attend. If I’m honest, is there anything they can do to me? If I don’t go to graduation, is there anything they can do to me?
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Bear in mind that every time you apply for a job or license your program is going to have to validate your info and support your candidacy. Don't burn bridges.
Keep your head down. Say nothing. You will only lose. Your experience is very common. Hopefully the administrators of this web site will protect your anonymity because they could always track you down based on IP address and forward to your program.
Focus is 100% correct.
Plus you have not graduated yet.
Every once and awhile there is a PGY-7 on here all of the sudden looking for a residency spot.
This is a dirty business.
you mention 3/4 of the attendings you despise. Hopefully the 25% you like include the PD and Chair as you have securing a job, hospital credentialing (have seen some people get a job but not get credentialed...so in effect they never started at that job), and board certification all ahead of you which requires various stamps of approval. Its in the program's best interest to make sure you get a job and pass your boards. The board pass rate in the future actually matters for accreditation etc. but in the end some people are just petty and don't have a problem derailing someone's career (rare but it happens)
That said, you're doing a fellowship so are you going into academics? The job search in academics largely boils down to some phone calls. after you finish residency you never have to be buddy-buddy with the people you dislike. In fact most are unlikely to influence your life at all but I would keep all criticism to yourself. neurosurgery is a very small world and even if what you say is true, no-one likes for people to badmouth others. If someone asks about the program or someone in particular just answer "you know I rarely worked with Dr. X-Y-Z" or "I received good clinical training". basically stay ambiguous AF if you can't be a fake liar and move on.
as for graduation, go and be with your family. finishing is an accomplishment especially at a malignant place. You had to smile politely and pretend for 7 yrs, one more night is no big deal. the end justifies the means. and if you have kids, use the "babysitter leaves at 9pm" excuse or other kid related excuse and leave immediately. also invite lots of family/friends so your table is full of people you actually care for and you're not forced to be near the people you dislike.