i don't know if i will be good enough to become a neurosurgeon, but everyone that i've come across is super cool and they are my role models...and my question for you, neurosurgeon as well as neurosurgeons-to-be, do you ever have people who just dislike you for being you? in med school or residency and even beyond now as an attending..and how do you deal with all that? with haters...
maybe you went above and beyond on a group project and your teammates are looking at you weird thinking you are taking this way too seriously (even though they are the benefactor as this is a shared grade, including a couple who did not do shit)....maybe you are doing clerkship and research at the same time and people don't like gunners. maybe you are just happy and actually LIKE med school, and people see you as being fake. when you are curious and asking questions and people are throwing shades at you...
i know you are going to say MAN UP..i am a girl actually but i know what you mean, i just have to be strong. but my fellow med students are really getting on my nerve. it is like everyone hates me! i hope things will be better in residency and beyond, maybe it will get worse. i have to learn to not care....
how do you deal with all that?
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Rise above it. Find friends and loved ones outside of medical school. Show up, do your work, make pleasant small when addressed but otherwise just keep to yourself if you are finding yourself in conflict with others. Not worth it unless it's for the sake of patient care, which at your level it probably rarely is.
To steal a quote from Hamilton. Talk less, smile more. Oh, and ask questions only when it doesn't inconvenience others.
Read "How to win friends and influence people" - by Dale Carnegie
(02-08-2022, 08:24 PM)Guest Wrote: Read "How to win friends and influence people" - by Dale Carnegie
i hate that book, along with 48 laws of power. i don't play games. that's why i wanted to go into neurosurgery. every neurosurgeon i met is decent and honest, and straightforward.
The entire point of that book is that if you genuinely like people and are genuinely interested in them as people then they will like you back
(02-08-2022, 08:29 PM)Guest Wrote: (02-08-2022, 08:24 PM)Guest Wrote: Read "How to win friends and influence people" - by Dale Carnegie
i hate that book, along with 48 laws of power. i don't play games. that's why i wanted to go into neurosurgery. every neurosurgeon i met is decent and honest, and straightforward.
a brazen suck up. We have people like you in my class and its obvious why they are disliked by everyone. They always think they are better and unconsciously put others down, always show off. They are disliked for a good reason. You are like that, it seems.
and of course they always claim jealousy
while pretty harsh, I would agree with the above sentiment that it seems like you might be doing some mistakes with your behavior. At least be open about how it might actually be you. I know several incredibly motivated medical students, as well as residents, who clearly do more than the rest and show a special amount of dedication for our field, yet, are liked by everyone. Everybody knows the gunners, however, too. The ones that put themselves in every conversation, don't let others shine, and then act offended and claim jealousy when others give them shit for it.
You can be incredibly dedicated AND be a team player. People will still notice.
Might be worthwhile to reflect on your behavior a bit more. Especially if it's more than one person that dislikes you, which seems like the case
To add to that, and I think this is the biggest and most frequent red flag:
if you answer questions that others are asked, even if they need a minute, you're out. God, I hate these medstudents. Especially on subIs. It doesn't matter how long your co-subI takes, if the question didn't move to someone else or the room was asked, you never intervene
(02-08-2022, 08:29 PM)Guest Wrote: (02-08-2022, 08:24 PM)Guest Wrote: Read "How to win friends and influence people" - by Dale Carnegie
i hate that book, along with 48 laws of power. i don't play games. that's why i wanted to go into neurosurgery. every neurosurgeon i met is decent and honest, and straightforward.
Actually I have the opposite experience. Almost every neurosurgeon I met is a liar, back stabber, gossiper, has limited vision, thinks mostly of money and prestige....the list goes on
(02-08-2022, 10:52 PM)Guest Wrote: while pretty harsh, I would agree with the above sentiment that it seems like you might be doing some mistakes with your behavior. At least be open about how it might actually be you. I know several incredibly motivated medical students, as well as residents, who clearly do more than the rest and show a special amount of dedication for our field, yet, are liked by everyone. Everybody knows the gunners, however, too. The ones that put themselves in every conversation, don't let others shine, and then act offended and claim jealousy when others give them shit for it.
You can be incredibly dedicated AND be a team player. People will still notice.
Might be worthwhile to reflect on your behavior a bit more. Especially if it's more than one person that dislikes you, which seems like the case
To add to that, and I think this is the biggest and most frequent red flag:
if you answer questions that others are asked, even if they need a minute, you're out. God, I hate these medstudents. Especially on subIs. It doesn't matter how long your co-subI takes, if the question didn't move to someone else or the room was asked, you never intervene
Agreed. People that complain about “haters” often have little insight into their own problematic behavior. Maybe tone it down a bit and work on getting along better with your classmates.
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