Any tips dealing with GFs?

[Guest]

Going to start residency soon. I'm 28 but my GF is 18. Thankfully we live in the same city. Wonder how much time I'll be able to spend with her? Do you guys have tips?

[Focus]

Dating someone in a very different phase of their life is tough for anyone, particularly for a neurosurgeon. Unless you have no academic ambitions or live together, you will find your time very constrained.

Most important thing is communication. Very easy to let that slip but even just day to day texts etc are important. Also important to communcate up front your difficult schedule, likelihood of canceling etc.

[Guest]

I think the best advice I ever got was not to tell your partner that you are on your way home until you are physically outside of the hospital, in your car, and at the first stoplight

[Guest]

This will be tough given her age.. at 18 I assume she'll be starting college. Remember how new everything was, meeting people, parties, etc. She will want to explore these things most likely and, in conjunction with your absence, you'll both likely drift apart while she meets someone else who's more available, throws fun parties, part of the same club/major, etc. Very likely she'll grow to resent your workload and eventually you as well. Again all of this is compounded by her age and limited dating experience/maturity. You can have a sit down and conversation, and likely she'll agree and says she'll understand but in reality no one understands what's coming not even you. You're both in very different places in your lives.

Even if you date a more mature 26+ year old working professional, it's still hard because no matter what your hours will always be worse. You're always tied to your pager. The 26yo is likely to be more understanding and look to the longterm future (starting family, etc) depending on how serious you guys are. You think being married would be more "secure," but not really as divorces occur not infrequently even those who get married in residency with full "understanding" of the workload. I'm not aware of your current situation, however. This may sound all doom and gloom but just providing a realistic perspective based on what I've personally observed time and time again. Takes 2 to tango. Don't be surprised if things don't go the way you want.

[Guest]

Apparently no one thinks dating a high school senior as a resident is weird. Interesting

[Guest]

(04-16-2021, 12:24 PM)Guest Wrote: Apparently no one thinks dating a high school senior as a resident is weird. Interesting

Came here to say this. There is a vast gulf of life between 18 and 28. I don't know a single 18 year old that would understand or tolerate what a neurosurgery resident's lifestyle has to be. If you found one, kudos.

[Guest]

End it dawg

[Guest]

(04-16-2021, 12:24 PM)Guest Wrote: Apparently no one thinks dating a high school senior as a resident is weird. Interesting

100% agree with you.

OP better have a good justification. I can't think of one.

[Guest]

(04-16-2021, 12:24 PM)Guest Wrote: Apparently no one thinks dating a high school senior as a resident is weird. Interesting

Gonna be awkward when you can’t go to prom due to call

[Guest]

(04-16-2021, 12:24 PM)Guest Wrote: Apparently no one thinks dating a high school senior as a resident is weird. Interesting

Not unless you're the former PD at Duke