(04-15-2022, 11:10 PM)Guest Wrote: I am in the final months of one of the notoriously 'intense' programs that these forums always talk about as operative heavy. I think a lot of people on this thread are probably medical students or junior residents just complaining. While there are definitely hard days in residency, sometimes hard rotations, it is what you make of it. No matter where you are you will work. Some nights you will be off, you will get golden weekends, you will get vacations, you will have short days, and some days you expected to be short turn into long days and you have to cancel stuff in your personal life. Yes in your junior years it can be hard to have a big personal life, this is not just in neurosurgery however. The job is demanding, but its not an eternal hellhole. If you find that you are a balanced, happy person, then you will likely continue to be so during residency. If you find yourself as a pessimist or someone who struggles to find the joy in day to day stuff, it will be bad.
As to finding a partner in residency thats willing to put up with you, thats somewhat true honestly. The advice I got from my med school mentor in neurosurgery was to make sure I married an 'understanding partner'. It does get better the further along you go. But even as an attending, there will be missed bdays/events and cancelled plans, just by the nature of what we do. If you find yourself dating someone who pitches a fit whenever you have to leave to go do an emergent case, its not going to end well. If you find someone who can understand and support you, then you can be a very happily married neurosurgeon even in a busy practice.
So don't get discouraged just because the hours can be tough. There are lots of specialties that work hard too. But be honest with yourself. If it is important for you to hit a few happy hours a week and be off most weekends, or to not have to take care of emergencies in the middle of the night, then neurosurgery is probably not the best fit, and that is totally fine. Just my two cents...
I am guilty of being an angry PGY 3 who posts here. 76 days to go until I am no longer a junior and will be happier
Surprised that residents have time to go on this forum ahha. Glad to see yall are alive and well!
Also, with regards to parental time with your kids, I wouldn't worry about that too much. Virtually all the research as shown that spending more time with your kids has virtually no benefit in the long-term. In fact, more time with your kids can even be detrimental.
(04-17-2022, 02:26 PM)Guest Wrote: Also, with regards to parental time with your kids, I wouldn't worry about that too much. Virtually all the research as shown that spending more time with your kids has virtually no benefit in the long-term. In fact, more time with your kids can even be detrimental.
Genuinely curious to see this research. Could you provide some links? For what it's worth, carving out time for yourself is a necessity in all fields. I met a doc in a "ROAD to happiness" specialty who regretted that he did not spend more time with his kids. His advice was to learn how and when to say "No" and to make the time for the things you care about.
(04-17-2022, 02:36 PM)Guest Wrote: (04-17-2022, 02:26 PM)Guest Wrote: Also, with regards to parental time with your kids, I wouldn't worry about that too much. Virtually all the research as shown that spending more time with your kids has virtually no benefit in the long-term. In fact, more time with your kids can even be detrimental.
Genuinely curious to see this research. Could you provide some links? For what it's worth, carving out time for yourself is a necessity in all fields. I met a doc in a "ROAD to happiness" specialty who regretted that he did not spend more time with his kids. His advice was to learn how and when to say "No" and to make the time for the things you care about.
I will post links later. But check out twin studies on the topics, Wilsons effect for IQ, and "The Blank slate" by Pinker. The time you spend has very little impact. However, things like good schooling, financial support and connections matter a lot.
(04-16-2022, 04:30 PM)Guest Wrote: In my medical school, virtually all the women are angry and aggressive. Even the ones who seem nice at first are quick to anger and aggression if you dare say something they disagree with. I suspect not being able to find a partner is due to being angry and aggressive and feminist--as opposed to long hours.
That might just be your class or school, plenty of women in my class were well-adjusted and went on to be perfectly fine residents. That said, Neurosurgery is definitely more likely to have women like what you are describing.
(04-17-2022, 09:01 PM)Guest Wrote: (04-16-2022, 04:30 PM)Guest Wrote: In my medical school, virtually all the women are angry and aggressive. Even the ones who seem nice at first are quick to anger and aggression if you dare say something they disagree with. I suspect not being able to find a partner is due to being angry and aggressive and feminist--as opposed to long hours.
That might just be your class or school, plenty of women in my class were well-adjusted and went on to be perfectly fine residents. That said, Neurosurgery is definitely more likely to have women like what you are describing.
Honestly, this dude is telling on himself. There's a lowest common denominator between all these angry and aggressive women at his med school.
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